英语翻译I don not want hope.Hope is killing me.My dream is to be

英语翻译
I don not want hope.Hope is killing me.My dream is to becomes holpless.When you are hopeless,you don′t care.And you don′t care,that infdifference will make you atractive
.So hopeless is the key Hopeless is my only hope .I used to think I am a circle ,but 1 do you know ,you are my Achilles′ hell.Nobody can influence me ,but I always think I have much care.from you ,him ,her ,and them.Thinking nothing is just right down my alley.But I am wrong .I don′t want to be that way already .And I know I may be an artsy person in sb′s eyes.But I don′ t care .Bing flying off the handle is not my bag .What′s more ,when called a Bimbo somewhere .I will really offended too.Having realized that I made boo-boos in my daily life ,which is unpleasant to someones .But I am not a yahoo,a turkey or a dork I don′t want to be a breaker ,or a breakee.I just want to be happy.At least make others think I seem chipper most of time .So what I don′t care .
I am living myself ,nobody can manage it!It is a DOA.
I know ,1,you are fab .It seems that I am not gaga about yoU!Totally wrong!If not ,why do I go out with you?But it doesn′t matter.Just let′s do it Let′s get start.Giddyup!Am I a taking person?Not a giving one?Gnvinely concerned with the welfare of others?I knew it is beyond my reach .I am not a gusty fighter .Whenever I got a pain,I just find a dark place ,to cure myself alone .I hate the dark ,but I need it as well.How can I tell them?But what I know is that :I have my pet theory ,that is "Hopelessness is my only hope "
不要死翻译啊 稍微活一点嘛 根本不通啊
怎么办

我不想有希望.希望正在杀死我.我的梦想是成为holpless .当你绝望时,你不理会.而你不关心,所以你的冷漠使你有吸引力的 .所以绝望是关键!绝望是我唯一的希望.我常想我是一个循环,1,但你知道吗,你是我的唯一的痛处.谁也不能影响我,但是,1!我始终觉得我很受照顾.从你,他 她,他们.我从没为此想过什么.但是我错了.我不想被人说.我知道可能在别人眼里我是个附庸风雅的的人.但我不理会.我不会让人捉住把柄.更何况,当被叫成行为不检点者.我也会发火.在意识到在日常生活中我犯了的究极愚蠢的错误——对人不客气.但我不是野蛮人,火鸡还是笨蛋!!!我不想成为一个断路器,或breakee .我只想得到快乐.至少让别人觉得我好像很愉快在大部分时间.等什么?我不在乎.我自己的生活,没有人能管理它!这是一个DOA.我知道,1 ,你是好的.看上去我对你并不喜爱!大错特错!如果不是,为什么我会和你出去?但不要紧.就让去做!让我们开始.Giddyup!我是一个获取者?不是个会贡献的人?gnvinely关心他人的福利?我知道这不是我的能力范围.我不是一阵风战斗机.每当我过得很痛苦,我只是找到了一个黑暗的地方,把自己治好.我痛恨黑暗,但我需要它.让我如何能告诉他们?但我知道的是:我有我的不二理论 就是"绝望的是我唯一的希望" !
这里的1指的是个人(主人公的男女朋友吧)
还有一些词错误的和口语的,我自己也不会