English task!^-^

English task!^-^
以下一篇英文作文,请帮忙修改,或提出意见和建议,在language\content\structure三个方面都可以,哪里删减哪里移动哪里不够好.
PS 最好看下能不能用上slang来替换文中的一些词,
答得好可以加分~^-^
How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You
Do you think that love is just an uncontrollable random process?
Do you think that if the person you loved didn’t love you back then nothing can be done about it?
Do you think that you can't make someone fall in love with you?
Most of us believe that love is completely random and can never be controlled or manipulated.However,the shocking truth is that love and hatred are fully controlled by the mind.If you can come to understand the logic behind that mind’s operation then you will have a good chance of making someone fall in love with you.Here bellow are ways that you can create a situation in which any inkling of love has the chance to flourish and develop into a deep love.This won't work one hundred percent of the time,but it will at least double or even triple your chances of making that person fall in love with you.
Firstly,love yourself.Whether you're goofy,silly,crazy,quirky,smart,reserved,or whatever,how can you expect a person to love you if you feel unlovable?You've got to show this person how awesome you are,but first you need to know how awesome you are.Build up your self-confidence.Now,this doesn't mean you have to be loud,boisterous,arrogant,chatty,or forward.It just means getting to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin.You can be secure,sweet and humble all at the same time.
Secondly,share a good laugh.It's been said that laughter is the sound of love.If you share many laughs together,you're both going to be a lot more receptive to love.However,don't put on a show,or make yourself a clown just to make someone laugh.The best laughs are spontaneous,and result from having a positive attitude towards life.
Thirdly,as the most important one,friendship is always a good place to start.Right now he only knows a "one dimensional" you,as your friendship progresses,you get the opportunity let him see a new side of you,and you get to see a new side of him.Work from the premise that he really wants a friendship with you until he indicates otherwise.Plus,by being friends,you can give him or her the time to think about what life could be like with you by their side.Take your time and be patient,or you may ruin the friendship and courtship altogether.Let things progress at a natural pace,or fade out of natural causes.
Come on,now let's all go seek and fight for our love!Be brave!Think about it,what have you got to lose?At the very least you gain a closer acquaintance and at the most you'll get your love!

声明：本人口语还是不错的.来美国5年了.美国康奈尔大学大一工程学院.不过写作不怎么养,说实在的,哈哈,所以只能给你参考了.
总的来说写的还是不错的,但是这样的文章是比较随性的,不是正式的essay把,应该只是freestyle writing把?每个小段都比较短,感觉中心思想有了,但是support argument不够,论点需要进一步论证,多举几个例子.
我按照口语的方式改了几个自己读不通的,改了几个形容词,改了几个语法错误,拼写错误.基本上没怎么改,尊重原著.每个人的writing style都不一样的,所以很难把slang和其他什么强加上去,个人觉得你已经写的很不错了.会用awesome的人已经比较了解这里的文化了.
P.S.:要写作业睡觉了,时间仓促,见谅.
最后希望能帮到你
How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You
Do you think that love is just an uncontrollable rush of emotions?Do you think that if the person you loved didn’t love you back then that’s the end of the world?Do you think that you can't make someone fall in love with you?
Most of us believe that love is completely random and can never be controlled or manipulated.However,the inevitable truth is that love and hatred can be fully controlled by the mind.If you can come to understand the logic behind that mind’s operation then you will have a good chance of making someone fall in love with you.Here below are ways that you can create a situation in which any inkling of love has the chance to flourish and develop into a deep love.This won't work perfectly,but it will at least double or even triple your chances of making that person fall in love with you.
First of all,love yourself.Whether you're goofy,silly,crazy,quirky,smart,or reserved,how can you expect a person to love you if you feel unlovable?You've got to show this person how awesome you are,but first you need to know how awesome you are.Build up your self-confidence.Now,this doesn't mean you have to be loud,boisterous,arrogant,chatty,or forward.It just means getting to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin.You can be secure,sweet and humble all at the same time.
Secondly,share a good laugh.It's been said that laughter is the sound of love.If you share many laughs together,you're both going to be a lot more receptive to love.However,don't put on a show,or make yourself a clown just to make someone laugh.The best laughter is spontaneous,and result from having a positive attitude towards life.
Last but not least,friendship is always a good place to start.Right now he only knows a "one dimensional" you,as your friendship progresses,you will get the opportunity for him see another side of you,and you get to see a new side of him.Work from the premise that he really wants a friendship with you until he indicates otherwise.Plus,by being friends,you can give him or her the time to think about what life could be like with you by their side.Take your time and be patient,or you may ruin the friendship and courtship altogether.Let things progress at a natural pace,or fade out of natural causes.
Come on,now let's all go seek and fight for our love!Be brave!Think about it,what have you got to lose?At the very least you gain a closer acquaintance and at the most you'll get your love!