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修改作文Five years summer holidays ago,when I was ten years old.

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修改作文
Five years summer holidays ago,when I was ten years old.I had a long travel with my mother.We went to Dalian by plane .It’s my first time to by plane.Althout I was worried,I felt interested .
The plane was so big ,there were twenty seats in a team ,and there were six seats in a row .Every aunts smiled at me .They were friendly .
The plane started to fly when 8 o clock .From the radio I heard a sweet voice .She told us how to do when we felt bad ,and how to do when the plane was flying .
Some minutes later ,they asked me which drink shall I need.Then they gave me a box of meat ang rice .I thought :the planes was much batter and safer than buses .
Now I think :it is nice for me to by plane .I don’t afried of the plane any more .
修改作文Five years summer holidays ago,when I was ten years old.
Five years summer holidays ago,这句根本就是中国式英语,改成,During the summer holiday 5 years ago.
It’s my first time to by plane.is改成was.
Althout你写错了吧?Although
interested改成interesting.
and there were six seats in a row.and there were 删除
when we felt bad .felt改成feel
they asked me which drink shall I need.到底有多少人为你送饮料啊?!
改成 a waiter asked me whick kind of drinks i would like to
Then they gave me a box of meat ...of改成with
I thought :英语中很少用:表示想法吧?
the planes was much batter and safer than buses .the 删除was改为are
Now I think :
afried又写错了吧?
I don’t afried of the plane any more.....dont改成will not.
好烂的一片作文,除非你是五年级的学生,要不你得使劲的加油了啊!