能不能给我几个《Funny people》中的经典对白

能不能给我几个《Funny people》中的经典对白
翻译或者没翻译过的都可以

giving something away you know Okay So There's something I've really been wanting to tell you George Uhoh Yeah I feel as though you need to tell someone other than me about your condition I don't want to do that George people care about you You have to let them be there for you I tell somebody then it's all gonna change and you can't get it back Everything's already changed George and the truth is soon you're gonna start getting very sick and you are gonna want someone other than me there I mean have you Have you even told your parents yet?My parents are in their mids They would drop dead if they heard about this Friends You must want to tell your friends I don't really have any friends I have people I shoot the shit with and **** around with but there's nobody I'm really close with I've got showbiz friends Andy Dick isn't a friend He's just a guy you know You're my closest friend and I don't even like you You have to tell someone other than me man I can't be the only one who knows I've never dealt with anything like this All my grandparents are alive Listen this is not your job to cry Your job is to not cry I'm just trying to talk to you mantoman George As a man you are crying right now I'm not crying People are gonna think we just broke up or something Ira Stop doing what you're doing Okay I'll stop You're causing a scene You're making crazy faces now Ira Open your eyes Stop crying You're making noises now?You look like the Incredible Hulk Jesus you're spitting on my shrimp you asshole I'm sorry God I'm sorry Come on Wipe it off Jesus Christ I'm sorry I just don't know This is the worst Why didn't I just get hit by a ****ing foul ball?You ruined The Palm you ****ing ass This could have been the best meal ever Should I get you ice chips or something?No I'm good You never had any kids huh?No No We didn't get to that I have three I know Three kids to carry on the Dick legacy How the hell did you have any kids with all the penises you've blown?I sucked my own dick and spit it into their vagina I mean knowing that Most people just go through life asleep anyways Some of those people don't even wake up until they get you know the Dr Death call you know "This is Dr Death!You're going to die" "Don't be afraid George "It's just Death calling Cheer up mother****er!" Yeah Fuck negativity Fuck it in the ass with a Chinese monkey!I wish I wasn't so ****ing angry with you right now Well I'm sorry I'm sorry I wasn't a good brother You were a terrible brother You just left us and you didn't care You didn't give a shit about us You don't even give a You moved to Kansas Am I supposed to visit you in Kansas?Yes I thought that's why you moved there so you didn't get visitors You're so ****ing selfish I know You've only seen my son like three times I send him ****ing DVDs all the time He doesn't want your DVDs He wants you to be a part of his life He wants to be a part of yours Wow This has been great I want to call Dad now and just have more family time What did we ever do to you?I'm not Dad You are right You're very very nice and I'm sorry I don't know your son I'm sorry I don't know you anymore I'm glad you don't know me I wish I did You'd be let down believe me Oh man Oh God Who's that?That's the girl I was gonna marry but then she smartened up So she's and she's six So cute Jeez she looks like you the little one huh?Yeah What's the matter?Your guy doesn't have any DNA in him?That's all Laura They fight a lot but they're cute Yeah Thank you so much for coming here I wanted to come I wanted to see you You didn't have to come here You didn't have to I know it's stressful for you I'm just I'm just I'm so sorry I'm so sorry about everything I did You don't have to be sorry That was years ago Everything worked out for the best It's good Look at your life This is great Yes It's the best life I hate it I hate it all I haven't been You don't hate it I'm addicted to it I guess I keep doing it Hello Wayne This is Ira I'm calling to say I don't think today is a good day for you to come by and see George Maybe tomorrow So I'll give you a call when I know what the schedule looks like Thank you I'll talk to you soon You have a family now You have a family now I'm so happy You did the right thing You moved on You got a good life And And I just got nothing Laura I hate that I hate that it could have been me with you Don't do that please?I'm sorry I just ****ing You I could have had those kids with you How could you cheat on me?I was so hot You were You were so hot I don't know I was hot!I don't even know what the **** I was doing I was just a stupid idiot I don't remember anybody else What was wrong with you?I don't remember anybody else I only remember you I don't know I don't even know who they were who ****ing ruined us They're not in my brain ever It's like it didn't happen The only thing that happened was us And you ran away 'cause you had to I had to go At the time I just couldn't do it anymore Yeah But you know what I realized?I love my husband but it's just not the same And I loved you so much and I know I know I know I know I have the same thing I have the same thing Don't feel bad Don't feel bad I love you I love you I always loved you And the crazy thing is he cheats on me too I hate He's like an Australian you I ****ing hate this guy Is he crazy?It's just that you were the one Just you are Were Are the love Love of my life And I just love you Yeah the hug was a mistake wasn't it?You're not sick are you?You're just doing that to get me down here huh?There are those hands again My big hands Always made my penis look small Thank you hands for that complex Yes Jeez The two of them together it was a guaranteed dwarfing Okay Yeah That was worth it We're into overtime now just so you know Jeez that came quick I wish that you guys were really my friends and I didn't have to pay you to jam with me All right so let's keep going then All my little plans and schemes Lost like some forgotten dream Seems like all I Diego Yes George?The roses look terrific Thank you They sure look beautiful Only a guy with a big cock like you could make roses this beautiful Don't need to be alone No need to be alone It's real love It's real Yes it's real love You doing standup at all?This is actually the first time I've left the house in three years But I will sometimes in my house in front of my kids I'll do five six minutes Not good stuff It's a lot of "Where you from?" You know But you know all kidding aside I know you're in a terrible situation but even with that you look so much better than him The Kingdom of Heaven is is in your hands I don't expect for you to awake from your dreams We watched your last movie on video A man who is funny doesn't have to work blue You don't You don't have to do trash to be funny I'll tell you who was a great comedian Please say me Who?Jackie Gleason Yeah of course You like him 'cause you look like Art Carney Gleason was terrific And you ain't so bad All right Thank you Pop I know It's real It's real love oh yeah It's real love yeah It's real love It's real I think I played it all wrong Ira I played it all wrong Okay He's here We saw each other Let me answer it Mark Stop Let me answer it Mark man Move *****!Hey George Simmons Hey Hey what's up?Happy Thanksgiving Hey!Mark Leo is the name I got How are you?Yeah yeah Yo Teach!That's right!Yeah right Oh boy That movie's the best 'cause you're a man then you're a baby and then you learn to be a man once you be You need It takes becoming a baby to learn how to become a man Yeah Can we get you a drink or some food?No no no Let me just walk around and go through your shit Hey I'm Bo What's up Bo?I'm an actor so Oh good good good good good good I've seen your act a lot Really?Where?Schmira he has that What's that the YouTubey thing that that The YouTube Yeah George and Daisy are here?How the hell did that happen?I didn't think George would come and who invited Daisy?I invited her Are you still sleeping with Daisy?No I'm not sleeping with Daisy!I have a new girlfriend now I'm dating the girl who plays Mrs Pruitt Her name's Carla something Can I sit next to George at dinner?Sit wherever the hell you want to sit man why?I feel like if I can just make George crack up once it'll do huge things for me like What you wrote jokes for Thanksgiving?I didn't write jokes I just wrote down my funniest anecdotes and punched them up here and there Okay I can't hide in the kitchen all afternoon I'm going