英语演讲稿·求修改My drdamToday ,I'm very glad to tell you about my d

英语演讲稿·求修改
My drdam
Today ,I'm very glad to tell you about my dream.When I was a little boy,I want you be a magician .But my dad said"oh,I don't think it's a good dream,you have to live!"so ,I give up my dream.
When I grow up ,I want to be a lawyer .When I talk iit with my mom ,she said"you want to be a laywer?Come on!,It's not the best way to make a living!"
Now,I want to be a computer programmer .Because I just find out that I love playing computer,and I think it's easy to find a job.But I didn't talk it with my parents,Maybe they will say:"Oh,it's a nice dream."And I think I need to study English well to use computer better,you know why?Because Bill Gates is an american.
So,I think I have to study well to make my dream come true.
改的地方请用【】标出来~

My 【drdam】
Today ,I'm very glad to tell you about my dream.When I was a little boy,I want【 you 】be a magician 【.】But my dad said"oh, I don't think it's a good dream,you have to 【live】!"so ,I 【give】 up my dream.
【When I grow up】 , I want to be a lawyer .When I 【talk 【iit 】with 】my mom ,she said"you want to be a laywer?Come on!,It's not the best way to make a living!"
Now,I want to be a computer programmer【 .】Because I 【just find out 】that I love playing computer【,and 】I think it's easy to find a job.But I didn't【 talk it with 】my parents,Maybe they will say:"Oh,it's a nice dream."And I think I need to study English well to use computer better,【you know why?Because Bill Gates is an【 american】.】
So,I think I have to study well to 【make my dream come true.】
你的文章中的错误集中在3点：1.单词2标点3表达
具体问题可追问,我帮你一一解答.
非常高兴为你解惑,希望你能一一找出你基础薄弱的地方,学习更上一层楼!
再问： 嗯啊·可以帮我把这些错误都改一下么~谢啦·
再答： 修改如下： My 【drdam】（dream） Today ，I'm very glad to tell you about my dream。When I was a little boy,I want【 you 】（to)be a magician 【.(,)】But(but) my dad said"oh, I don't think it's a good dream,(because)you have to 【live】（make a living)!"so ,I 【give】(gave) up my dream. 【When I grow（grew） up】 , I want to be a lawyer .(,)(but when)When I 【talk 【iit 】with 】(talk aboout it with)my mom ,she said"you(You) want to be a laywer?【Come on!(删去）】,It's not the best way to make a living!" Now,I want to be a computer programmer【 .】（，）Because I 【just find（found） out 】that I love playing computer【,and 】（删去“，”或and）I think it's easy to find a job.But I didn't【 talk it with 】（speak of it with)my parents,Maybe(maybe) they will say:"Oh,it's a nice dream."And I think I need to study English well to use computer better,{【you know why?yBecause Bill Gates is an【 american】（American)。】}(删去，不符合因果逻辑，拼凑字数） So,I think I have to study well to 【make my dream come true.】(achieve my dream或make my dream a reality)