哪里可以改进?觉得词汇上边用的太过肤浅,好多用的自己都觉得ex,但实在.

哪里可以改进?觉得词汇上边用的太过肤浅,好多用的自己都觉得ex,但实在.
Subtly described in the picture,the most striking feature of the drawing is
that...Uncomplicated depicted as the illustrating to be,the symbloic meaning must be
profound.What on earth does the drawer really attempt to congvey?
It is an indicative of a widespread social phenomenon.Similar appenings are
now available in nearly all walks of life.A good case in point is an acquaintance of
mine who.Another telling example is one of my neighbor ,who...Both of them may
serve as convincing examples.
Apparebtly ,a variety of complicated factors contribute to it,with the following
two less significant than no others.My first consideration is...An additional factor
rests with .
The current state of affairs may have been encouraged by the lack of rules and
regulations.To being with,it is essential that the goverments at all levels take
measures to ...Moreover ,to ourseves ,it is the time ...Only by adoping both
effeective measures,can our society develop steadly and have a more promising
prospect.

这是什么作文的模板吧.gre作文?toefl?sat?我觉得用词挺好的.如果不是为了gre,不用改了.如果是gre,你在填模板的时候也可以加上很多难词
有单词拼错 congvey -> convey Apparebtly-> apparently
Subtly described in the picture,the most striking feature of the drawing is that...句子没写完
Uncomplicated depicted as the illustrating to be,the symbolic meaning (must be) -> is
profound.What on earth does the drawer really attempt to convey?
symbolic 原句拼错.逗号后面要有空格.
It is an (indicative) -> indication of a widespread social phenomenon.
Similar appearances are now available in nearly all walks of life.
appearances,works拼错.
A good case in point is an acquaintance of mine who.句子没写完
Another telling example is one of my neighbor ,who...句子没写完
Both of them may
serve as convincing examples.
Apparently ,a variety of complicated factors contribute to it,with the following
two less significant than no others.My first consideration is...An additional factor
rests with .
The current state of affairs may have been encouraged by the lack of rules and
regulations.To being with,it is essential that the governments at all levels take
measures to ...Moreover ,to ourselves ,it is the time ...Only by adopting both
effective measures,can our society develop steadily and have a more promising
prospect.
把拼写错误改了