大师作文网作文:不要以貌取人.寻求修改
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作文:不要以貌取人.寻求修改
Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover
As the old saying goes,”Don’t judge a book by its cover”,I should bear it in mind forever.
Xiao Li was a newcomer in my class.He was only about one point three metres high.I looked down on him just because of his appearance.Once I laughed at him,”You look ridiculous.”
Not until that thing happened did I realize that I was wrong.We enjoyed ourselves at the Festival Celebrating Party.I was on duty to clean the classroom after the party.But I left the classroom with the ground full of garbage.I had totally forgotten my duty!
The next day,when I entered the classroom,I was astonished that the classroom was so clean.My deskmate told me that it was XiaoLi who cleaned the classroom.A feeling of shame stroke me immediately.XiaoLi was so kink a person while I was bad.After that,I kept the saying in mind,”Don’t judge a person by its appearance.”
麻烦帮我看看我的作文哪里能修改下,发现句子间很不连贯.
Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover
As the old saying goes,”Don’t judge a book by its cover”,I should bear it in mind forever.
Xiao Li was a newcomer in my class.He was only about one point three metres high.I looked down on him just because of his appearance.Once I laughed at him,”You look ridiculous.”
Not until that thing happened did I realize that I was wrong.We enjoyed ourselves at the Festival Celebrating Party.I was on duty to clean the classroom after the party.But I left the classroom with the ground full of garbage.I had totally forgotten my duty!
The next day,when I entered the classroom,I was astonished that the classroom was so clean.My deskmate told me that it was XiaoLi who cleaned the classroom.A feeling of shame stroke me immediately.XiaoLi was so kink a person while I was bad.After that,I kept the saying in mind,”Don’t judge a person by its appearance.”
麻烦帮我看看我的作文哪里能修改下,发现句子间很不连贯.
I should bear in mind forever the old saying,"Don't judge a book by its cover.",of which I awared in a story between me and a classmate.Xiao Li,a newcomer in my class,was only about one point three metres tall.And he was the person I looked down upon due to the appearance,once I even laughed at him,"You look ridiculous." However,I soon realized that I was wrong.But he responded without a word.Later,at the festival celebrating party,after when I was on duty for cleaning the classroom,he did something,because I left the classroom with the ground full of garbage.
But I did not realized that I had totally forgotten my duty until the next day when I entered the classroom,astonished----the classroom was so clean!And just when I was wondering about this,my deskmate told me that it was XiaoLi who cleaned the classroom.All of a sudden,a feeling of shame stroke me.I've never thought taht XiaoLi was so kind a person,while me so bad.It was just after this story,I had kept the saying in mind,"Don't judge a person by his appearance.'
的确不贯,而且还有用词不当的地方.关于连贯的问题你对照一下,我在文中是加了一些词和句子以衔接的,在这里我就指出一些你用词上的不当之处：
1、表达这个同学的身高,不过high的,身高的表达是用tall.举个很简单的反例,当你表达一架飞机有 xx high时（xx为高度）,你能区别出指的是飞机的高度还是它起飞后离地的高度呢?
2、庆祝节日的聚会不需要将首字母大写的,除非是特定的节日,比如“春节”(Spring Festival)、“国庆节”(National Day)等才用大写.
3、最后一句话,”Don’t judge a person by its appearance.”对于人怎么可以用“it”?“it”是表达“它”,有表达“人”的时候会用“它”的吗?
But I did not realized that I had totally forgotten my duty until the next day when I entered the classroom,astonished----the classroom was so clean!And just when I was wondering about this,my deskmate told me that it was XiaoLi who cleaned the classroom.All of a sudden,a feeling of shame stroke me.I've never thought taht XiaoLi was so kind a person,while me so bad.It was just after this story,I had kept the saying in mind,"Don't judge a person by his appearance.'
的确不贯,而且还有用词不当的地方.关于连贯的问题你对照一下,我在文中是加了一些词和句子以衔接的,在这里我就指出一些你用词上的不当之处：
1、表达这个同学的身高,不过high的,身高的表达是用tall.举个很简单的反例,当你表达一架飞机有 xx high时（xx为高度）,你能区别出指的是飞机的高度还是它起飞后离地的高度呢?
2、庆祝节日的聚会不需要将首字母大写的,除非是特定的节日,比如“春节”(Spring Festival)、“国庆节”(National Day)等才用大写.
3、最后一句话,”Don’t judge a person by its appearance.”对于人怎么可以用“it”?“it”是表达“它”,有表达“人”的时候会用“它”的吗?