作业帮 > 英语 > 作业

请大侠来给这篇高考英语作文打个分,

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:大师作文网作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/09/26 03:31:10
请大侠来给这篇高考英语作文打个分,
请根据下面提示,写一篇短文.词数不少于50.You and your Australian friend Jim are visiting a city in China where you see the street sculptures as shown below.You and Jim are discussing what the artist is trying to say.Now you are telling Jim how you understand this piece of art and what makes you think so. 
提示词:雕塑 sculpture 笔记本电脑 laptop


Jim,I think what the artist wants to tell us is that people always depend on computer more and more at present.
I think it is wrong of people always prefer handling their troubles by the computer.It is* supposed that some their troubles can* be settled by other way.But some youngers don't like so.So,It is depending on computer that people are getting the lazy more and more.
So,I think it is necessary that we should try our best to correct the bad habit.

评分标准:
请大侠来给这篇高考英语作文打个分,
11分.
硬伤:所给两个词没用上
改进:用一些简单的连接词,替代SO,同义词有Therefore,意为因此.等等
优点:句式灵活,有复杂句式.
加油!改正后大约能到13,14分
再问: 啊?必须用上所给的词吗?
再答: 对,提示词是必须都用上的。这是规定,没关系,下次注意就行了