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请高手批改一篇高中英语作文

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请高手批改一篇高中英语作文
Holy place in my mind
Do you have a favorite place?Maybe everyone will say “yes”.But the answer can be very different.If you ask me,I’d say “the museum” without doubt.In fact,it is more than the favorite; museum is a holy place in my mind.
I don’t remember when and where I went to a museum for the first time.But I surely know I fell in love with it since I was 9-year-old.I joined a chess club at that time and spent forenoon there every weekend.So in the afternoon,I went to museums with mom.They were about many different domains,such as astronomy,history,science and art.It was such a great feeling!
People said that museum was a good place to appreciate and relax.It really was.First of all,it is the quietest place beside the library.There is little people here everyday and people here must be gentle ones.Then,the cultural atmosphere makes people comfortable.I’m an admirer of the history of Egypt,so it’s particularly excited for me to go to the exhibition about what I love.When I stand among the antique here,I’m pleased.
Although I have little time to spend in the museum now,I can’t stop myself loving the place.Not only do I feel good here,but I can learn more out of the class.I can’t know how things become in the future,but the holy place in my mind can be never changed.
请高手批改一篇高中英语作文
第一段In fact,it is more than the favorite; museum is a holy place in my mind.中的than应该删掉
第二段But I surely know I fell in love with it since I was 9-year-old.应该将fell in love改为fall in love,后面9-year-old应该改成9 years old
They were about many different domains,such as astronomy,history,science and art.It was such a great feeling!此句主语于应该改为There were .
People said that museum was a good place to appreciate and relax.中的said应该为say,同样,was改为is,与此相同的下一句的It really was.应该是It really is.
最后一段I can’t stop myself loving the place.Not only do I feel good here中的myself应该省略(当然加上也没有错),而后面的应该是do i feel it good,而应该把后面的here删去
就只有这些了,是拜托我的老师修改的,有什么问题可以联系我~
说实话,你的英语啊蛮好的