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这篇短文有语法错误或者其它错误吗?求高手解答.一个给10分.

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这篇短文有语法错误或者其它错误吗?求高手解答.一个给10分.
Do you know the story of Snow White? Well,she was the prettiest girl in the kingdom!
But a jealous queen wanted to put her in jail to hide her beauty. So she ran to the forest home of seven little dwarfs .
“You’re welcome to hide here at our house!” They all exclaimed.
But the ugly queen found her! She dressed up like an old beggar woman and gave Snow White an apple.She took one bite and fell into a deep sleep.
The little dwarfs cried because they couldn’t awaken Snow White . The dwarfs put her in a glass case and prayed for help.
One day,their prayers were answered when a handsome prince cane by and awakened Snow White with a magic kiss.
Snow White was so happy,and all the dwarfs yelled “Hooray!” And she and the prince got married the very next day.
这篇短文有语法错误或者其它错误吗?求高手解答.一个给10分.
1、时态不是最好
叙述故事童话、小说用一般现在时
2、took one bite ▶takes a bite
3、And she and the prince got married the very next day.一句好像“各自结婚了”,表述为两者结婚一般这样
▶ And she marries her Prince Charming the very next day.
4、She dressed up like an old beggar woman 词序
▶ She dresses up like an old woman beggar.
5、在''their prayers were answered when a handsome prince cane ''中
可能是你打错了 cane作came
其他都还不错,不过可以再雕琢一下偶!