大师作文网求角虫帮忙点评英语作文!此为中考作文练习,求打分
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求角虫帮忙点评英语作文!此为中考作文练习,求打分
This time next year
Now,I am facing the last English paper in myjunior middle school.It can bring me into a high school which is new for meand make me far from my familiar classmates.But I think this time next year,Iwill have a lot of new classmates as friends which I haven’t know today.Ithink it is a good chance for me to get more experience of making friends withothers.This time next year,my new classmates and I will discuss the traps inthe final exam.We will grin,cry and be touched in the next two years in thehigh school.So I am looking forwards to reach this time next year and havegood times with the people in my new school.It’s colorful.
This time next year
Now,I am facing the last English paper in myjunior middle school.It can bring me into a high school which is new for meand make me far from my familiar classmates.But I think this time next year,Iwill have a lot of new classmates as friends which I haven’t know today.Ithink it is a good chance for me to get more experience of making friends withothers.This time next year,my new classmates and I will discuss the traps inthe final exam.We will grin,cry and be touched in the next two years in thehigh school.So I am looking forwards to reach this time next year and havegood times with the people in my new school.It’s colorful.
存在的瑕疵如下：
人称错误：which isnew for me and (make 应该是单数第三人称形式) me far from my familiarclassmates动词形式错误：which I haven’t (know 应该改为过去分词 known) today.表达问题：the trapsin the final exam 不够准确,应该改为 the traps in the papers for the final exam（期末考试卷中的陷阱）标点问题：I think this time next year, I will have 中的 this time next year 是插入性状语,前面也应该用逗号,即 I think, this time next year, I will have …,或者把 this timenext year 提前： this time next year, I think I will have …表达欠明朗：We will grin, cry and be touched 改为 Maybe, we will grin with delight ,cry over our failure and be touched by what we see and hear (也许我们会因高兴而笑、因失败而哭、被所见所闻而所感动)
【评价】文章紧扣标题,多处运用较复杂的从句表达作者的想法,结构紧密,行文流畅,虽然个别处有瑕疵,但属于评分标准的最高档,可得满分的90% 左右.
人称错误：which isnew for me and (make 应该是单数第三人称形式) me far from my familiarclassmates动词形式错误：which I haven’t (know 应该改为过去分词 known) today.表达问题：the trapsin the final exam 不够准确,应该改为 the traps in the papers for the final exam（期末考试卷中的陷阱）标点问题：I think this time next year, I will have 中的 this time next year 是插入性状语,前面也应该用逗号,即 I think, this time next year, I will have …,或者把 this timenext year 提前： this time next year, I think I will have …表达欠明朗：We will grin, cry and be touched 改为 Maybe, we will grin with delight ,cry over our failure and be touched by what we see and hear (也许我们会因高兴而笑、因失败而哭、被所见所闻而所感动)
【评价】文章紧扣标题,多处运用较复杂的从句表达作者的想法,结构紧密,行文流畅,虽然个别处有瑕疵,但属于评分标准的最高档,可得满分的90% 左右.