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求助修改英语信这是模板.希望修改下面的段落.只要大致上意思相同就行了.应为不能使用原文谢Unfortunately,si

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求助修改英语信
这是模板.希望修改下面的段落.只要大致上意思相同就行了.应为不能使用原文

Unfortunately,since you bought the
computer during the sales.So,it has no warranty.We regret to tell you that
our shop cannot fix your computer free of charge.But we can arrange to have
your computer fixed at our authorized dealer for a small fee of HK$450.The fee
is to cover the servicing cost.
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求助修改英语信这是模板.希望修改下面的段落.只要大致上意思相同就行了.应为不能使用原文谢Unfortunately,si
一、评注
□ Unfortunately,since you bought the computer during the sales.So,it has no warranty.
应该是一个主从复合句(原因状语从句 + 主句),不能分为两个独立的句子说.另外,since 和so也不能同时出现.回避购买人you,用被动语态表述比较客气.修改如下:
Unfortunately,since the computer was bought during the sales,it is not guaranteed to keep in good repair.
□ We regret to tell you that our shop cannot fix your computer free of charge.
fix意思是“安装”,应该改为 repair(修理),另外语气也不够委婉.修改如下:
Much to our regret,we have to say that our shop is not under an obligation to be able to give service to your computer free of charge
□ But we can arrange to have your computer fixed at our authorized dealer for a small fee of HK$450.
修改为:Anyway,there is something wrong with it and we can arrange to have it repaired at our authorized dealer for a small fee of HK$450.
□ The fee is to cover the servicing cost.
直接用作上面fee of HK$450的非限制性定语从句进行补充说明,即:
...fee of HK$450,which is to cover the servicing cost.
二、修改后的全文如下:
Unfortunately,since the computer was bought during the sales,it is not guaranteed to keep in good repair.Much to our regret,we have to say that our shop is not under an obligation to be able to give service to your computer free of charge.Anyway,there is something wrong with it and we can arrange to have it repaired at our authorized dealer for a small fee of HK$450,which is to cover the servicing cost.