竞赛作文

Directions : Chinese people always have the traditions of helping others ; regardless of a friend or a stranger. However, in recent years , people find that when they try to help others , some changes are taking places . One of the most common examples is that , a passer-by who sent an injured senior people to hospital would be very likely to be recognized as the accident –maker. This kind of events is being return again and again . When trapped in dilemma of tradition and trouble , what would be your choice ? Hold on to your spirit According to the long history of China .many philosophers like Confucius、Mencius and Mozi had realized that our society is built up with kindness and friendliness. However , in our overpopulated and busy society everything has changed . Some people ‘s mind has been numbed because of the pleasure of life . So sometimes we get into trouble. When we help others out of trouble , not only we don’t get “Thank you” but also make ourselves feel sad . So we should open our eyes and think fully. Before we help others we should look around and take a photo or make a sign to show how the accident happened . It can be a strong evidence if others don’t know who is the accident maker. So you can be innocent and get rid of a lot of trouble . No matter how they confound right and wrong , we should do our best and be really carefully Helping others is a tradition culture of China , so we should obey it . Don’t have thought like this “Others don’t help him , why should I help him .” But people are born to good . Everyone have kindness , so we shouldn’t decline . Kindness can make our life more and more wonderful . To sum up, we should hold on to our spirit . To be kind and to give others a happy life .请老师详细批改出文章中的错误及不足。

解题思路： 更改如下
解题过程：
本文文采写得很不错,句子表达也比较 通顺流畅 ,文章结构完整,是一篇好文章.但是也美中不足有一些语法错误,更改如下: 第三行 in 后加 the in the recent years 在最近的几年; find----have found ,前边的时间状语要用现在完成时. 第四行 changes---misunderstandings 根据语境来确定 第五行 that后边的逗号改为冒号比较好 第七行 the ---an 泛指 第八行 return--returned 被动语态的用法 第九行 tradition--traditions one of +可数名词的复数 第十一行 句号改为逗号 第十二行 like--liked 一般过去时 第十三行 is--was 同上 第十九行, we don't---don't we not only ...but also 放句首要倒装 第二十六行 and --or 表选择 第二十九行 thought--thinking 动词改为名词
最终答案：略