大师作文网麻烦帮我改下这篇雅思作文..100分
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麻烦帮我改下这篇雅思作文..100分
some people think it is acceptable to useanimals for the benefit of the human beings.some people think it is wrong to exploit animals for the human purpose.what's your opinion?
正文
These days there has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether animals should be used for human's profit.Some believe it reasonable,while others regard it as an inhuman action.In this essay,I will compare and contrast both opinion regarding this issue.
Some people find that animal experimentations are unacceptable may argue that as well as every person,animals also has the right of survival.No one can decide the being or death of an animal,no matter this animal is belonged to him or not.Besides,the aim of our exloitation on animals is always not for animals themselves,but almost totally for the purpose of human beings.A more significant factor that can be taken to account is that we have suffered from some diseases that come from the indecent treatments we did towards animals,such as H1N1,SARS.
However,some believe that we have used animals for meeting people's demands for so long a period of time that these actions should be correct.Obviously,we have benefited a lot from animal experimentations.For instance,after expoiting on bats,people invent radar that has enhance the development of search technology.As well as this,trained animals indeed hold centain advantages in individuals's daily life.This can be illustrated by this example,dogs that have been trained can help the police find the criminals in a more easier way.
In conclusion,my view is that animals are our companions,but that does not mean we cannot use them to improve the level of human's life.However,it is important that while we are using them for something,we should not forget to protect them,especially when we are to carry out some experiments on animals,we must make sure to minimise the pain of them.
麻烦帮我看看,语法错误,用词不当等.感激不尽
some people think it is acceptable to useanimals for the benefit of the human beings.some people think it is wrong to exploit animals for the human purpose.what's your opinion?
正文
These days there has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether animals should be used for human's profit.Some believe it reasonable,while others regard it as an inhuman action.In this essay,I will compare and contrast both opinion regarding this issue.
Some people find that animal experimentations are unacceptable may argue that as well as every person,animals also has the right of survival.No one can decide the being or death of an animal,no matter this animal is belonged to him or not.Besides,the aim of our exloitation on animals is always not for animals themselves,but almost totally for the purpose of human beings.A more significant factor that can be taken to account is that we have suffered from some diseases that come from the indecent treatments we did towards animals,such as H1N1,SARS.
However,some believe that we have used animals for meeting people's demands for so long a period of time that these actions should be correct.Obviously,we have benefited a lot from animal experimentations.For instance,after expoiting on bats,people invent radar that has enhance the development of search technology.As well as this,trained animals indeed hold centain advantages in individuals's daily life.This can be illustrated by this example,dogs that have been trained can help the police find the criminals in a more easier way.
In conclusion,my view is that animals are our companions,but that does not mean we cannot use them to improve the level of human's life.However,it is important that while we are using them for something,we should not forget to protect them,especially when we are to carry out some experiments on animals,we must make sure to minimise the pain of them.
麻烦帮我看看,语法错误,用词不当等.感激不尽
Some people who find
as well as every person,去掉
rights of existence
he aim of our exloitation on animals is always not for animals themselves,but almost totally for the purpose of human beings.目的本来就不是为了动物,有点不理解.
大概就是,能用复数就用复数,有的地方语法不妥,最重要的是你的文章每句话都要有逻辑.
像这种论述题,最好在第一段写明你支持的观点,在下一段让步你不太支持的,不必批判,就是写一些就好了,下一段重点写你支持的.这样比较有条理.
as well as every person,去掉
rights of existence
he aim of our exloitation on animals is always not for animals themselves,but almost totally for the purpose of human beings.目的本来就不是为了动物,有点不理解.
大概就是,能用复数就用复数,有的地方语法不妥,最重要的是你的文章每句话都要有逻辑.
像这种论述题,最好在第一段写明你支持的观点,在下一段让步你不太支持的,不必批判,就是写一些就好了,下一段重点写你支持的.这样比较有条理.