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这是一篇英语5句话作文、关于奥巴马的事情、各位帮我指出各处的语法错误、

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这是一篇英语5句话作文、关于奥巴马的事情、各位帮我指出各处的语法错误、
1.barack Obama was born in August 4,1961s at Honolulu,Hawaii2.His father is a black man from Kenya and mother is a white man from USA,he was black man and gratulated in the Harvad Law School and he got the Doctor at school.3.when he was a kid,he want to be a president and he got it in November 4,2008s.4.In the general election,he defeated John McCain ,he be the president in USA,and he is the first president from Africa,it was inspired all people hard to work and achieve they dearm.
这是一篇英语5句话作文、关于奥巴马的事情、各位帮我指出各处的语法错误、
1.Barack Obama was born in August 4,1961 at Honolulu,Hawaii.
2.His father is a black man from Kenya and his mother is a white woman from America.
我个人觉得这么写很绕口,有点变扭,如果你只是想提他是个黑人,直接说" He is a black man." 就好了,想强调家庭,也可以说" He has the black skin from his Kenya father,while his mother is an American.
3.He is a black man and graduated in the Harvad Law School and he got the Doctor degree at school.
太多的and连续使用,也很不舒服,读起来都累,建议至少加个then,建议改写成:
He is a black man.He graduated from the Harvad Law School (你确定是这个名字?而不是你自己翻译的,感觉有点怪) where he got his Doctor degree.
4.When he was a kid,he wanted to be a president and he got it in November 4,2008s.
建议 "wanted" 改为 "dreamd" "got it" 改为"succeeded"
5.In the general election,he defeated John McCain.
6.Now he is the president in the USA.
7.Barack Obama is the first president from Africa ,which inspire all people to work hard and to achieve their dearm.