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十万火急!求十篇幽默英语小短文!

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十万火急!求十篇幽默英语小短文!
最好是类似这种的英语小短文,要附上中文,
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
就像是这种的英语小短文
十万火急!求十篇幽默英语小短文!
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”
Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.
"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候,长得和父亲一样高了,于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时,就开始借父亲的衣服穿.
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样,当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时,总是非常生气.
一天晚上,汤姆下楼准备出去,父亲在门厅里拦住了他.他细细打量着汤姆的穿着.
然后他气呼呼地说:“汤姆,那不是我的一条领带吗?”
汤姆回答说:“是的,父亲,是你的领带.”
“还有那衬衫也是我的.”
“是的,衬衫也是你的.”汤姆回答说.
“还有呢,你连皮带也用我的.”霍德华先生说.
“是的,父亲,”汤姆回答说,“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧?” Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠.他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药.
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来.他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有.”
“好啊!”老板吼道,“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”