改正英语作文 急It was 5 years after the end of Snow White’s story.I

改正英语作文 急
It was 5 years after the end of Snow White’s story.
I worked in my office when one was knocking at my door.
"Come in,please," said I.
A fat woman whose skin was as white as snow came in and took off her hat.She turned toward me,"Hallo,Mr.Freud.My name is Snow White."
"Hallo,Ms.Snow White.Take a seat,please," I said,"What's the matter with you?"
"I...uh..." Snow White became embarrassed,her face was a little bit red.She said,"I just can't stop overeating.I feel uneasy if nothing is in my mouth.Therefore,I became too fat so that my husband treated me coldlier and coldlier."
"Ms.Snow White,take it easy," I said,"In my opinion,your ego is not strong to keep your id down.You always want to feel good,do whatever you want,right?"
"Yes.I think I need more control.By the way," Snow White took out cigarette case,fixing her eyes on me,and asked me,"Can I smoke here?"
"No,you can't." I replied and pointed at the sign "No smoking".
"All right.May I chew gum?" said Snow White.She put cigarette case away and put a piece of gum in her mouth.
"Listen!I think you are orally fixated.During oral stage which lasts from the beginning of one’s life up to 18 months,the focus of pleasure is on the mouth.Though you are not in this stage,you fail to resolve the conflicts of this stage.In later life,you may constantly 'hunger' for activities involving the mouth," I said,drinking some water.
"What can I do?Mr.Freud," said Snow White.She became nervous.
"Every time when you feel hunger,you tell yourself that you are full and focus on something else." I advised.
"I'll try my best to do it.Thank you so much!" said Snow White.
"May you succeed!" I said,smiling on her.
Snow White went away.
任何有错的地方都行（包括标点）改的更地道也行 文中id 和 ego 是专业名词 不懂也无所谓
1楼 哪里改了 你标出来啊 这叫我怎么看

It was 5 years after the end of Snow White’s story.
I 【was working】 in my office when 【someone knocked】 【on】 my door.
"Come in,please," 【I said.】
A fat woman 【with】 skin was as white as snow came in and took off her hat.She turned 【towards】 me,"【Hello】,Mr.Freud.My name is Snow White."
"【Hello】,Ms.Snow White.Take a seat,please," I said,"【what's wrong?】"
"I...uh..." Snow White became embarrassed,【and】 her face 【turned】 a little bit red.She said,"I just can't stop 【eating.】 I feel uneasy if nothing is in my mouth【,and now I've become so fat】 that my husband 【is treating】 me 【colder and colder.】【 注：没有 coldlier 这个词】
"Ms.Snow White,take it easy," I said,"In my opinion,your ego is not strong 【enough】 to keep your id down.You always want to feel good 【and】 do whatever you want,right?"
"Yes.I think I need more 【self】 control.By the way," Snow White took out 【a】 cigarette case,【fixing her eyes on me.】"can I smoke 【in】 here?"
"No,you can't." I replied and pointed at the 【"No smoking" sign】.
"All right.May I chew gum?" 【asked】 Snow White.She put 【the】 cigarette case away and put a piece of gum in her mouth.
"Listen!I think you are orally fixated.During 【the】 oral stage 【that last】 from the beginning of one’s life up to 【eighteen】 months,the focus of pleasure is on the mouth.Though you are not in this stage,you fail to resolve the conflicts of this stage.【Later in life】 you may constantly 'hunger' for activities involving the mouth," I said,drinking some water.
"What can I do?Mr.Freud," 【asked】 Snow White.She became nervous.
"Every time 【you】 feel hunger,【tell】 yourself that you are full and focus on something else 【instead】." I advised.
"【Okay,】 I'll try my 【best to follow your advice.】Thank you so much!" said Snow White.
"May you succeed!" I said,smiling 【to】 her.
【And just like that,Snow White went away.】
改完咯!你写得挺不错的,就是有些地方有些语法上的错误.
我正好学过 Freud 的 Oral Stage,还有什么 Id 和 Ego 和 superego.
挺好玩的.加油哦!：）