我有一份重要的英文简历如下可否烦请各位帮忙修改.以防止表达错位,语法问题和中式英文等的弊端.

我有一份重要的英文简历如下可否烦请各位帮忙修改.以防止表达错位,语法问题和中式英文等的弊端.
EDUCATION
Sept, 1993 ---- July, 1998 Medicine Major in Beijing Medical University
Vice president of Student Union
Vice president of Singing Association of Foreign Language Department
Minors: Computer
LANGUAGE LEVEL
Good command of English, effective written and oral communication.
COMPUTER LEVEL
Proficient in the operation of office productivity software (Microsoft Word and Excel,etc).
WORKING EXPERIENCE
Feb, 2011— Beijing QIAO Technology Co., Ltd
Job title: Regulatory Affair Director
Responsible for Supervising the SFDA registration work for Medical devices as well as keeping good relationship with the officials of SFDA. Providing registration training & guidance to team members.
Jun 2003— Feb, 2011 Beijing Huayuan Medical Consulting Co.
Job title: Regulatory Affair Specialist
Responsible for undertaking the SFDA registration work for Medical devices manufactured by enterprises outside the borders of China.
Work scope:
Responsible for supervising following work:
a.Preparing the registration documents and making sure that forms and contents are acceptable according to Chinese law and are applicable for submittal for the department concerned.
b.Compilation of technical specifications.
c.Track testing of products
d.Clinical trials
e.Track the whole process of registration, answer questions from organizations assigned to the case, try to obtain registration certificate within the period of 100 workdays after the registration documents are received by SFDA, and make active effort to expedite entire certification process.
Mar, 2001—Apr, 2003 Beijing Veccion Co., Ltd
Job title: Engineer
Responsible for the after sale services of Biochemical Analyzer and Hematocyte Counter, etc.
Sept, 1998—July, 2000 Beijing Hunric Huikan Info.Tech. Co., Ltd
Job title: Sales
Responsible for the distribution of Medical devices such as DSA etc.
SKILL OF WORK
a.Familiar with registration regulations; skilled in arranging SFDA registration applications with great sense of project management.
b.7 years experience performing registration work with the establishment of a good relationship with SFDA and Testing Center
c.Compiling specification in accordance with SFDA’s requests
d.Enthusiastic, with capable communication skills
e.Capable of organizing a excellent team to perform the registration affairs
f.Fluent spoken and written English.
g.Familiar with Word, Excel and Photoshop, etc.
h.Can master knowledge necessary for the position in the shortest amount of time
i.Accurate, rapid, and highly efficient
j.Not discouraged by difficulties and work well under pressure
k.Energetic in studying, working, and possess strong sense of responsibility
l.Highly-motivated and reliable person with excellent health and pleasurable personality
m.Very glad to have business trip frequently according to requirement
n.Happy to commit myself as a full-time team player

粗略的从后面看到前面,发现了这些,你觉得好的话你不妨采纳
M.very glad换成 ready,不要让人误以为你频繁出差别有用心.
L pleasurable 建议换成 easygonging,不换也无关紧要.
J.K,有语法问题.你要通篇省略I am,随时记得后面的动词要么是动词不定式或者动名词.K中你忘了冠词.修改为working wll under pressure.possess a strong sense of responsibility.
I,highly efficient换成high-efficiency.自认为合成词比形容词前加副词更酷.
H,整句话换成 able to master necessary knowledge soon你不觉得你这句话漏洞百出?如果说不好,还不如说的短一些.
G 要自吹,就把familiar with 变成good at ,
F.加at
D参照Ewith capable变成capable of
B最前面7-year exprience of
A.最后面with a great sense of
接着改为SKILLS OF WORK
还有一个JOB TITLE,SALES变成 SALESMAN觉得更好.
前面的问题比较少,但还是有的.
第一段：最后面的MINORS是什么啊,elective才是选修课 ,.
第三段：最后一句officials变成colleagues
.
再问： 非常感激您的回复,受益非浅. 但尚有以下问题需要请教： H,整句话换成 able to master necessary knowledge soon你不觉得你这句话漏洞百出？如果说不好， 问：您这里所指的漏洞百出是哪几个地方？多谢！ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 接着改为SKILLS OF WORK------------这是指的更换哪句话？
再答： Can master knowledge necessary for the position in the shortest amount of time 这一句你想说的是在最点的时间内掌握必需的只是，要么说at the shortest period of time,要么说using the minimum amount of time。 旧话重提，说过你通篇省略了I am，之后用can，这是一处，necessary是用于名词前面的形容词，关于某学科的knowledge后面接的是of,而不是for。由于介词使用的复杂性，我对此不太确定，为了不犯错，所以如上面所改。 skill of work出现在你最后一段的首三个单词，显然，技能不止一种，而且你也自己都用过skills多次了，为什么此处少一个S？ 至于选修课，你说的那个单词我查了一下，感觉陌生，而且用有道词典翻了一下，发现并没有选修课的意思，所以我找了一个替代，这完全是我的词汇量狭窄。 第三段倒数第二句Responsible for Supervising the SFDA registration work for Medical devices as well as keeping good relationship with the officials of SFDA中你用到的officials我个人认为属于行政部门，要么是公务员，要么是管理层。我当时对于SFDA完全不了解，以为只是一个推销医务器械，所以我认为改为同事比较好，或许这是我的第二个失误。 其实你的英语词汇已经远远超过我的了，估计不足的就是语法问题，你多做一些关于语法方面的改错题目应该可以完善的。其次，写简历要的就是简短，格式单一，要么全是陈述句，要么全是省略主谓语的宾语或者表语部分。 如果想表现的更有文采，像responsibility,supervise这类的单词完全可以替换的。 其实改错题不是那么简单，要揣摩作者的意思着实要发一点心力的。