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英语翻译  Almost a month has passed had I gathered up all my tea

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英语翻译
  Almost a month has passed had I gathered up all my tears or fears or whatever feelings to write this one down.It was the hardest thing I ever tried to do,to find the exact words or the right sentences to express how much this haunting dreamy poem Ang Lee has drown the world with teardrops,lovin'ness and compassion.Words are pale,just like our strength against destiny is frail.
有几个问题:
1: Almost a month has passed had I gathered up all my tears or fears or whatever feelings to write this one down 这句话的语法结构?
has passed had I 第二个had在这是怎么用?
2:lovin'ness " ' "这是干什么的?
英语翻译  Almost a month has passed had I gathered up all my tea
一个月几乎已经过去,这一个月里我用我收集我所有的眼泪,恐惧以及一切情感去写下这边文章. 寻找正确的单词,或是恰当的句子去表达这个令人难忘而又如梦般的诗,是我所做过最困难的事. 李安用眼泪,爱与同情淹没了这个世界. 词语是苍白的,就想我们妄想用力量对抗命运一样的虚弱.
第二个had是倒桩 had i = i had
我觉得这个“ ' "应该是informal的用法吧,就像我们说:i won't give'em up, 'em = them, 这样读起来会很方便. ness做结尾应该是做名词用的吧