大师作文网【悬赏200】帮忙看一下我的英语作文(急)
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：大师作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/11 11:49:32
【悬赏200】帮忙看一下我的英语作文(急)
一共3篇作文,帮我改一下语法错误,还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下,
希望能改得好点.英国外教老师批改.
明天就要交作文了,一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了,
1.My family
Let me introduce my family.There is my grandfather,my father,my mother,my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old.In the past,he only lived with my grandmother.But my grandmother died 5 years ago,so he lives with us together now.My father is 47 years old.My father's hobby is going mountain climbing.He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month.And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea.There is a room for drinking tea in my house.He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room.My mother is 43 years old.She is good at cooking.She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family.Her food is delicious.My elder sister is 19 years old.She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing.She is studying there to enter the university.She is good at English.I am 15 years old.My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短,能加点句子就好了
2.My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games.It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games.But I can only play computer games at the weekend.And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend.My favorite computer game is "popkart".It is a racing game.I usually play computer games with my friends.Playing with friends is more interesting.In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart".So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby.What fun it is!
3.My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school.I have some plans for next year.
First,I am planning to study harder next year.The third year of middle school is very important,so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school.Second,I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health.Usually I don't get exercise enough.So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness.There is a small mountain in front of my house,so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing.My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai.I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year.So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city.These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year.
一共3篇作文,帮我改一下语法错误,还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下,
希望能改得好点.英国外教老师批改.
明天就要交作文了,一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了,
1.My family
Let me introduce my family.There is my grandfather,my father,my mother,my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old.In the past,he only lived with my grandmother.But my grandmother died 5 years ago,so he lives with us together now.My father is 47 years old.My father's hobby is going mountain climbing.He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month.And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea.There is a room for drinking tea in my house.He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room.My mother is 43 years old.She is good at cooking.She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family.Her food is delicious.My elder sister is 19 years old.She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing.She is studying there to enter the university.She is good at English.I am 15 years old.My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短,能加点句子就好了
2.My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games.It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games.But I can only play computer games at the weekend.And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend.My favorite computer game is "popkart".It is a racing game.I usually play computer games with my friends.Playing with friends is more interesting.In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart".So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby.What fun it is!
3.My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school.I have some plans for next year.
First,I am planning to study harder next year.The third year of middle school is very important,so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school.Second,I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health.Usually I don't get exercise enough.So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness.There is a small mountain in front of my house,so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing.My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai.I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year.So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city.These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year.
1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
（已对部分错误做了修改,并增加些内容.说实话,你的作文还是写得不错的.）
（英语牛人团一英语教师）
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
（已对部分错误做了修改,并增加些内容.说实话,你的作文还是写得不错的.）
（英语牛人团一英语教师）