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求老师细批一下雅思的小作文 100分送上

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求老师细批一下雅思的小作文 100分送上
剑桥五text4的小作文
The table illustrates the figure about the subway systems in six separate cities:London,Paris,Tokyo,Washington D.C.,Kyoto,and Los Angeles.
London is the first city opened subway systems in 1863,while Los Angeles is the last one 2001.As for the other four cities ,all of them opened the systems in 1900s
.London also has the longest route (394 kilometers) among these six cities.However,there is by far.Shortest route in Kyoto and Los Angeles (11 kilometers and 28 kilometers respectively ).The route of the rest three cities between 100 and 200.
Tokyo has the largest amount of passengers (1927 millions for year),which is followed by that of London (775 millions per year ) and Paris (1191 per year).The figure for Kyoto and Los Angeles are similar(around 50 millions per year).
All in all,London has the oldest and longest subway systems .Tokyo’s systems service most people by compared other cities,Kyoto and Los Angels have new and small size systems.
大家觉得这篇能拿几分呢 急
求老师细批一下雅思的小作文 100分送上
一般95分左右就算是高分了,首先被分为“一类文”、“二类文”、“三类文”,说白了其实与语文作文的形式大差不差.
一类文——语言精彩、生动、形象,加入生词,语句通顺,无一错别词;
二类文——语言稍精彩,语句通顺,无一错别词;
三类文——语句通顺.
我今年小学六年级,父亲是中学语文教师,我偶尔还会翻翻初中生的作文本,最高分大差不差88.小学自然分数较高些,建议打92.
祝以上同学学习更上一层楼!