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大虾帮我看下这段英文写得怎样:C,your application of visa has accepted and t

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大虾帮我看下这段英文写得怎样:C,your application of visa has accepted and the date of.
C,your application of visa has accpeted and the date of document is May 16.I have asked help from Jacky to relese your visa in advance and try to get it before May 12.Is that okay for you?
我不是要译成中文,我是想大家帮我看下写得对不对.
大虾帮我看下这段英文写得怎样:C,your application of visa has accepted and t
You may consider my version
Your visa application has been accepted and dated as 16th of May.I have asked Jacky to grant your visa in advance and we will try to have it processed before 12th of May.Is this OK for you?
前面写的书面语很好,但是最后一句Is this OK for your就不太正式,可以考虑
Can you confirm with us whether this is a preferred option for you.