大师作文网2009年上海中考英语作文 看看有没有语法错误,能打多少分
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2009年上海中考英语作文 看看有没有语法错误,能打多少分
I want to do something for my school
How time flies!I'm going to graduate from my school before long.Since i'm a student,i should do something for my school.I've noticed that the library of my school hasn't enough books to enjoy ever since i first came into the school.Sometimes a few students had no choice but to read one book with another student.I like reading ,so i have a lot of books ,including some useless ones.I think it's my duty to donate these books for my school ,they will be helpful to many younger students.
I want to do something for my school
How time flies!I'm going to graduate from my school before long.Since i'm a student,i should do something for my school.I've noticed that the library of my school hasn't enough books to enjoy ever since i first came into the school.Sometimes a few students had no choice but to read one book with another student.I like reading ,so i have a lot of books ,including some useless ones.I think it's my duty to donate these books for my school ,they will be helpful to many younger students.
I've noticed that the library of my school hasn't enough books
这一句,应该是doesn't have 而不是hasn't
语法错误就这么一个,但是有很多地方的遣词用句需要改进,否则会严重影响文采分.如果不加以修改,这篇文章可以打15分（3分扣在：1分语法错误,2分文采）
had no choice but to read one book with another student.
"read“改成"share"
I like reading , so i have a lot of books,including some useless ones.
改成"I like reading and I have a plenty of books that I no longer need"
I think it's my duty to donate these books for my school
改成"I think I could a little favor for my school, donating these books. " （duty这个词太重了,你对学校没有那样严肃的义务责任关系,所以改成favor会好很多）
they will be helpful to many younger students
改成"I believe that they'll be beneficial to many younger students"
这一句,应该是doesn't have 而不是hasn't
语法错误就这么一个,但是有很多地方的遣词用句需要改进,否则会严重影响文采分.如果不加以修改,这篇文章可以打15分（3分扣在：1分语法错误,2分文采）
had no choice but to read one book with another student.
"read“改成"share"
I like reading , so i have a lot of books,including some useless ones.
改成"I like reading and I have a plenty of books that I no longer need"
I think it's my duty to donate these books for my school
改成"I think I could a little favor for my school, donating these books. " （duty这个词太重了,你对学校没有那样严肃的义务责任关系,所以改成favor会好很多）
they will be helpful to many younger students
改成"I believe that they'll be beneficial to many younger students"
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