大师作文网请求英文老师评改作文；希望可以给意见和评语.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：大师作文网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/15 21:15:28
请求英文老师评改作文；希望可以给意见和评语.
You are Vincent Wong,you recently suspect that your best friend Tom,has started taking drugs.You are so worried about he will become a drug addict and commit crimes.Write an email to your friend explaining the disadvantage of using drugs and persuading him to stop taking drug.(about 400 words)
Dear Tom,
Is me,vincent.It has a long time we didn’t talk with each other since two weeks ago.I found out it seems you avoid to chat with me recently?Why?Can you feel our distance is going to be far?I have no ideas what we are going on after I saw you did something in the afternoon last Friday which I was really shocked.I can’t believe my eyes!
Tom,you and I both are the best friend to each other,so tell me the truth,are you taking drug?Don’t you know it hurt your body and brain,do you?Do you want your later part of lifetime to lie on the bed and just wait your parents taking care of you?I am not kidding,it is truth that near hundred percentage of people whose body was ruined by taking drugs.I don’t want to my friend whose lifetime will like that,I think you either.
Also,taking drugs not only hurt your health and body,but also break your parent’s heart.There are no parents who don’t want their children to be happy and glad.Your parents will absolutely be grief and sad after knowing your behavior.What is more,as your best friends,I,of course,want you to get drugs away because of our friendship.I rather want to see you becoming a cool teenager with seldom talking to the others than becoming a drug addict hang out with bad behavior friends.
As we all know,life has no take-two.We should certainly cherish our life not just because of ourselves,and because of the people who are concern us as well.In view of these reasons,Tom you tell me,you are the one who has many people care and concern,how can you be cruel letting them down?As a result,let’s take a right action and getting rid of taking drugs.We are too healthy to need it.
Tom,I hope you can read every word deeply,I don’ want to lose my best friend.See you on tomorrow.If possible,I hope you can tell me with face to face.
Best wishes
Vincent Wong
You are Vincent Wong,you recently suspect that your best friend Tom,has started taking drugs.You are so worried about he will become a drug addict and commit crimes.Write an email to your friend explaining the disadvantage of using drugs and persuading him to stop taking drug.(about 400 words)
Dear Tom,
Is me,vincent.It has a long time we didn’t talk with each other since two weeks ago.I found out it seems you avoid to chat with me recently?Why?Can you feel our distance is going to be far?I have no ideas what we are going on after I saw you did something in the afternoon last Friday which I was really shocked.I can’t believe my eyes!
Tom,you and I both are the best friend to each other,so tell me the truth,are you taking drug?Don’t you know it hurt your body and brain,do you?Do you want your later part of lifetime to lie on the bed and just wait your parents taking care of you?I am not kidding,it is truth that near hundred percentage of people whose body was ruined by taking drugs.I don’t want to my friend whose lifetime will like that,I think you either.
Also,taking drugs not only hurt your health and body,but also break your parent’s heart.There are no parents who don’t want their children to be happy and glad.Your parents will absolutely be grief and sad after knowing your behavior.What is more,as your best friends,I,of course,want you to get drugs away because of our friendship.I rather want to see you becoming a cool teenager with seldom talking to the others than becoming a drug addict hang out with bad behavior friends.
As we all know,life has no take-two.We should certainly cherish our life not just because of ourselves,and because of the people who are concern us as well.In view of these reasons,Tom you tell me,you are the one who has many people care and concern,how can you be cruel letting them down?As a result,let’s take a right action and getting rid of taking drugs.We are too healthy to need it.
Tom,I hope you can read every word deeply,I don’ want to lose my best friend.See you on tomorrow.If possible,I hope you can tell me with face to face.
Best wishes
Vincent Wong
Dear Tom,
Is(it's) me, vincent. (去掉It has a long time) we didn’t talk with each other since two weeks ago. I found out (要加that)(it seems you avoid改为 you seem avoiding) to chat with me recently? Why? Can you feel our distance is (going to be far 改为 growing wider)? I have no ideas what (we are 改为 was) going on after I saw you did something in the afternoon last Friday which I was really shocked. I can’t (过去式couldn't) believe my eyes!
Tom, you (and I both are the best friend to each other改为 are my best friend), so tell me the truth, are you taking drug? Don’t you know (要加that) it (要加will) hurt your body and brain (去掉do you)? Do you want your later part of (lifetime改为 life) to lie (on 是 in) (去掉the) bed and just wait (要加for) your parents (taking 改为 to take) care of you? I am not kidding, it is truth that near(nearly / almost) hundred percentage of people whose body was(were) ruined by taking drugs. I don’t want to (应加see) my (friend whose lifetime 改为 friend's life) will (be) like that, I think you (要加wouldn't) either.
Also, taking drugs (will) not only hurt your health and body, but also (will) break your parent’s heart(双亲要用hearts). There are no parents who don’t want their children to be happy and (glad 应该用 healthy). Your parents will absolutely be (grief 改为 devastated) and sad (after knowing那为 if they have found out) your behavior. What is more, as your best friends, (I, of course, want you to get drugs away 改为 of course I would like you to stay away from drugs) (去掉because of our friendship(重复)). I rather want to see you becoming a cool teenager (去掉with) seldom talking to the others than becoming a drug addict hang out with bad behavior friends.
As we all know, life has no take-two. We should certainly cherish our life not just because of ourselves, (and 改为 but also) because of the people who (去掉are) concern (要加about) us as well. In view of these reasons, Tom, you tell me, you are the one who has many people care and concern (要加about), how can you be (要加so) cruel letting them down? (As a result 改为 For all the above reasons), (let’s 改为 you must) take a right action and (getting rid of 改为 stop) taking drugs. (We are too healthy to need it 这似乎有点不合情理,与是否healthy 无关,应改为: It's the last thing we need).
Tom, I hope you can read every word (要加 I have just said)deeply, I don’t want to lose my best friend. See you (去掉on) tomorrow. If possible, I hope you can tell me (去掉with) face to face.
Best wishes
Vincent Wong
有甚多错漏, 但我已顺序替你更正好了,希望会对你有帮助.
Is(it's) me, vincent. (去掉It has a long time) we didn’t talk with each other since two weeks ago. I found out (要加that)(it seems you avoid改为 you seem avoiding) to chat with me recently? Why? Can you feel our distance is (going to be far 改为 growing wider)? I have no ideas what (we are 改为 was) going on after I saw you did something in the afternoon last Friday which I was really shocked. I can’t (过去式couldn't) believe my eyes!
Tom, you (and I both are the best friend to each other改为 are my best friend), so tell me the truth, are you taking drug? Don’t you know (要加that) it (要加will) hurt your body and brain (去掉do you)? Do you want your later part of (lifetime改为 life) to lie (on 是 in) (去掉the) bed and just wait (要加for) your parents (taking 改为 to take) care of you? I am not kidding, it is truth that near(nearly / almost) hundred percentage of people whose body was(were) ruined by taking drugs. I don’t want to (应加see) my (friend whose lifetime 改为 friend's life) will (be) like that, I think you (要加wouldn't) either.
Also, taking drugs (will) not only hurt your health and body, but also (will) break your parent’s heart(双亲要用hearts). There are no parents who don’t want their children to be happy and (glad 应该用 healthy). Your parents will absolutely be (grief 改为 devastated) and sad (after knowing那为 if they have found out) your behavior. What is more, as your best friends, (I, of course, want you to get drugs away 改为 of course I would like you to stay away from drugs) (去掉because of our friendship(重复)). I rather want to see you becoming a cool teenager (去掉with) seldom talking to the others than becoming a drug addict hang out with bad behavior friends.
As we all know, life has no take-two. We should certainly cherish our life not just because of ourselves, (and 改为 but also) because of the people who (去掉are) concern (要加about) us as well. In view of these reasons, Tom, you tell me, you are the one who has many people care and concern (要加about), how can you be (要加so) cruel letting them down? (As a result 改为 For all the above reasons), (let’s 改为 you must) take a right action and (getting rid of 改为 stop) taking drugs. (We are too healthy to need it 这似乎有点不合情理,与是否healthy 无关,应改为: It's the last thing we need).
Tom, I hope you can read every word (要加 I have just said)deeply, I don’t want to lose my best friend. See you (去掉on) tomorrow. If possible, I hope you can tell me (去掉with) face to face.
Best wishes
Vincent Wong
有甚多错漏, 但我已顺序替你更正好了,希望会对你有帮助.