大师作文网托福独立写作求修改和建议,12月2号就考试了.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：大师作文网作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/09/21 18:45:34
托福独立写作求修改和建议,12月2号就考试了.
In fact,from my personal of view,half successful people try new things and take risks and half do what they know how to do well.Both of the approaches lead to achievement.Furthermore,a few brilliant people combine them.
Fulfilled individuals tend to do novel tasks which seem out of their control.For example,Mayun who is the CEO of Taobao,the best on-line shop in China,created website about Chinese business information for Chinese businessmen in order to attract investors overseas before the time when China witnessed the period of Internet,which means that time Chinese businessmen could not check what Mayun did was genuine or not.Although the beginning was harsh,the website turned out to be a prudent project when China had the access to the Internet.And all the other counterparts could not compete with their forefather.Mayun made his first program successfully,though he was unconfident whether the website would rage in China.
Nevertheless,there is another kind of successful individuals who reach their goals by doing what they know how to do well.For illustration,businessmen in Wenzhou,an affluent city in China,keep manufacturing the same production from beginning.They never or hardly think about other industries,while instead they focus on one or few specific productions.In this way their goods with reasonable prices and applauded quality are prevailing in China.It is they are awareness about what they can do best for the marketing and their industries at the same time that guarantees their accomplishment.
As to the well-known celebrities,I maintain that they do both to grasp their goals safely using two propellers.For instance,Bill Gates who founded Softerware makes a significant donation to the informatics period.He had sophisticated computer skill and far-sighted view,leading his innovation in the computer industry.
In conclusion,successful people have at least one characteristic to propel then on the way to the rosy destinations.
In fact,from my personal of view,half successful people try new things and take risks and half do what they know how to do well.Both of the approaches lead to achievement.Furthermore,a few brilliant people combine them.
Fulfilled individuals tend to do novel tasks which seem out of their control.For example,Mayun who is the CEO of Taobao,the best on-line shop in China,created website about Chinese business information for Chinese businessmen in order to attract investors overseas before the time when China witnessed the period of Internet,which means that time Chinese businessmen could not check what Mayun did was genuine or not.Although the beginning was harsh,the website turned out to be a prudent project when China had the access to the Internet.And all the other counterparts could not compete with their forefather.Mayun made his first program successfully,though he was unconfident whether the website would rage in China.
Nevertheless,there is another kind of successful individuals who reach their goals by doing what they know how to do well.For illustration,businessmen in Wenzhou,an affluent city in China,keep manufacturing the same production from beginning.They never or hardly think about other industries,while instead they focus on one or few specific productions.In this way their goods with reasonable prices and applauded quality are prevailing in China.It is they are awareness about what they can do best for the marketing and their industries at the same time that guarantees their accomplishment.
As to the well-known celebrities,I maintain that they do both to grasp their goals safely using two propellers.For instance,Bill Gates who founded Softerware makes a significant donation to the informatics period.He had sophisticated computer skill and far-sighted view,leading his innovation in the computer industry.
In conclusion,successful people have at least one characteristic to propel then on the way to the rosy destinations.
文笔很好,但是没利用好啊,很可惜.
首先,开头那个half.half.是不好的.我会问,凭什么说是一半一半啊,我还认为是所有人都是去尝试新鲜事呢.所以第一段建议先说明这为什么是个问题,然后表达观点.
文笔没的说,很好,但是论证略显单一,不要只用举例论证啊.每一论证段尽量都用上正面论证,举例论证和反面论证.
不能一句话结尾.
望采纳
再问： 我真不会写开头和结尾，望提点，还有中间也总是想时间很长，300字只能刚好达到，但是托福好像550字以上才能有好点的分
再答： 字数不是问题，300以上就行，当然，能多写一点最好。重要的是文章的层次感。 开头：背景+观点。 结尾：观点+背景 就拿这个题来举个例子吧。 开头：in today's fast-paced society, a vast majoraty of people are under too much pressure because everyone wants to be winner in the general competition, thus being accomplished. hence, some people assert that people should just do well in the area they study in order to be successful. But i doubt this view could bear much analysis. 结尾 ；from the evidence offered above, i can hardly believe that.... on the contrary, i think..... so, people should be encouraged to .... 我只是给你一个例子，一般我都是这样写开头和结尾，但肯定不是最好的。
首先,开头那个half.half.是不好的.我会问,凭什么说是一半一半啊,我还认为是所有人都是去尝试新鲜事呢.所以第一段建议先说明这为什么是个问题,然后表达观点.
文笔没的说,很好,但是论证略显单一,不要只用举例论证啊.每一论证段尽量都用上正面论证,举例论证和反面论证.
不能一句话结尾.
望采纳
再问： 我真不会写开头和结尾，望提点，还有中间也总是想时间很长，300字只能刚好达到，但是托福好像550字以上才能有好点的分
再答： 字数不是问题，300以上就行，当然，能多写一点最好。重要的是文章的层次感。 开头：背景+观点。 结尾：观点+背景 就拿这个题来举个例子吧。 开头：in today's fast-paced society, a vast majoraty of people are under too much pressure because everyone wants to be winner in the general competition, thus being accomplished. hence, some people assert that people should just do well in the area they study in order to be successful. But i doubt this view could bear much analysis. 结尾 ；from the evidence offered above, i can hardly believe that.... on the contrary, i think..... so, people should be encouraged to .... 我只是给你一个例子，一般我都是这样写开头和结尾，但肯定不是最好的。