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英语作文批改 baby

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英语作文批改 baby
Having a baby can change your life which is positive and also negative.It is positive to get you more responsibility,bring you more happiness and enhance relationship between husband and wife.First of all,when you have a baby you will get more responsibility.Secondly,the baby brings more happiness for you.When the baby first time to speak,calls “father or mother” you feel extremely excited.When the baby first time to walk,you feel extremely happiness.The child grows up day by day ,you can feel the more and more happiness.Thirdly,the baby can enhance relationship between husband and wife.The baby is the parents of the extended life and love crystallization.However,it is negative to change the sleep deprivation,no longer live for yourself and hard working.Firstly,the most important change is the sleep deprivation.Because of the baby’s irregular sleeping schedule parents’ changes.We often hear the cry of the child at night.Maybe the baby feels hunger .You need to wake up to feed baby.So the parents get up for time to time to take care of their children.Secondly,when you have a baby,your life change; you no longer live for yourself.You can no longer decide to see a film,go shopping or go to a party.Because you have a baby,you need to take care of baby.Finnly,I think if you have a baby,you need to work hard to earn more money,because it is a huge cost to being up a baby.Such as,education cost,toys,clothing and others.
Your life will be changed if you have a baby,it has some benefits,and the possible is risk.The benefits are to get you liability to bring family more satisfaction and enhance parent’s relationship.Firstly,if you have baby,you will get more liability.Secondly,the baby brings much satisfaction for you.Thirdly,the baby can enhance parent’s relationship.However,there are some risks,such as changing the sleep deprivation,no longer live for yourself and hard working .Firstly,parents slept a few time.Secondly,you won’t have a lot of activity time.Thirdly,you need to make more money.
英语作文批改 baby
修改后:
Having a baby can change your life which can be positive or negative. It has a positive effect on you as it enables you to become more responsible, brings you more happiness and enhances the relationship between husband and wife. When the baby speaks for the first time and calls you“father” or “mother”, you will be joyful and excited. When the baby walks for the first time, you feel extremely happy. As the child grows and maturers day by day , you can feel more and more happiness and excitement. The baby is an extension of the parents'life and the prove of their love. However, it can have negative effects such as sleep deprivation, change of purpose in live that you no longer live solely for yourself and all the hard works of looking after a baby. The most siginificant effect is sleep deprivation due to baby’s irregular sleeping pattern. We often hear babies cry at night. The baby might be feeling hungry, parents need to get up to feed him/her. Consequently, parents might have to wake several times at night care for their children. Also, when you have a baby, your life changes and you no longer live for yourself. You can no longer go see a film, go shopping or go to a party whenever you want to, because you have a baby to care for. Futhermore, I think that when you have a baby, you need to work hard to earn more money as it is a huge cost to care for a baby, such as education cost, toys, clothing,etc.

Your life will be changed when you have a baby, it has some benefits, but also carries potential risks. The benefits are giving you satisfaction and enhance parents' relationships. However, there are some risks, such as sleep deprivation, the fact that you no longer live for yourself and the need to work harder.
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注:作文中重复的地方都删去了.如果不能引出什么新的内容来,用第一,第二,第三格式说着一样的话,只会让文章看起来累赘.