谁能提供一些英语笑话或一些英语的小故事啊?(英语口讲要的啊)要简单些,大概3分钟之内的.

谁能提供一些英语笑话或一些英语的小故事啊?(英语口讲要的啊)要简单些,大概3分钟之内的.
口讲用的哦~笑话或短文都可以..
是2个人进行的呀!

TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行."
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day,Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and
saw that he had got all his sums right.The teacher was very
pleased-and rather surprised.He called Tim to his desk and
said to him,"You got all your homework right this time,Tim.
What happened?Did your father help you?"
"No,sir.He was too busy last night,so I had to do it all
myself," said Tim.
你爸爸帮你了吗?
一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了.老师很高兴
,同时也十分惊讶.他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆,你这次的作业全都
做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"
"不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了."
英语幽默笑话
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
圣诞节英语笑话
Peace and love for you at Christmas from all your students.
祝老师圣诞节充满平安和爱.
Wishing you a sparkling Christmas and bright happy New Year!
May the season bring much pleasure to you.
愿你的圣诞光彩夺目,愿你的新年灿烂辉煌!佳节快乐!
Wishing you all the blessings of a beautiful Christmas
season.
愿你拥有圣诞节所有美好的祝福.
Wishing you all the happiness of the holiday season.
祝节日幸福如意.
Hope all your Christmas dreams come true!
愿你所有的圣诞梦想都成真!
英语短笑话
一：She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room.Suddenly,there was a crash of breaking dishes,then complete silence.The girl looked at her father and said,“It was Mom”.“How do you know?” asked her father.“She didn"t sayanything.”
二：I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband,“dear,look at our sheet!It"s
too dirty.Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and
then said,“I don"t think it"s necessary.We can turn the
sheet over.Is that all right?”
英语四级笑话
一妇女经常光顾一家古董店,但几乎从不买什么东西,却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵.对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨,经理和她的销售员总是应付了事,但是有一天她做得太过分了.“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西?”那名妇女指责说.
职员脸上带着微笑,沉着地回答道：“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了.”
A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything,but always found fault with the merchandise and prices.The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride,but one day she went too far."Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your
shop?" demanded the woman.U %o= +Gc ]h:,.KMu