谁能帮我修改一下英语作文谢谢了

谁能帮我修改一下英语作文谢谢了
Some parents want to buy too expensive to toys so that children can occupied.Children need fewer toys but more time to stay with their parents.
Parents should not have the mind that children can by occupied by very expensive toys without affection.It is hard to assess how important family love is for a person when he is a child.However,many parents are lack of time to stay with their children because of many reasons such as busy working,irresponsibility or even dislike children.But they are not enough good reason that they can give less time to stay with their children.As parents,you give a life for your child,and then you had to educate them rather than just give them too expensive toys.Although someone might say that the toys also have the function which can educate children,that is far from the standard what a child should be educated.
Toys may have sort of functions of enhance children’s intelligent but the toys cannot substitute from their parents.For example,communication between children and parents when children play the toys give the very different results from that children just play the toys by themselves.
On the hand,too expensive toys would not good for children’s future.Child may show his or her expensive toys to his or her friends.Then his friend may make the friend with him because of his expensive toy but not the real friendship.On the other hand,children may naturally rely on the expensive toys to make a new friend.So children may copy the way to make the friend when he grows up,particularly a excellent car or a modern game machine.
Parents want to expensive toys to occupy their children initially so that parents can be free from staying with their children.However,the reality could be very different than the parents’ thinking.Firstly,very expensive toys in short time can make the children focus on playing them,but children will be fed with them and require new toys in long term.It will conversely increase the burden of their parents who have not good income.Secondly,children now get most expensive toys from you,which you cannot promise that they will not ask you to buy most expensive cars,horses,houses and ships for them.
Parts of some parents are very rich,so they may not care about the financial problem which would happen in future.But a child who has less time to play with toys rather than parents might impress them.Some of children would have some mental disease such as infantile autism which would affect them wellbeing in the future.
In conclusion,children cannot be occupied by the toys only.Their parents should spend enough time to stay with and educate them.Too expensive toys may bring some temporary benefits for caring with your children,but toys cannot substitute your position in his or her mind.Otherwise,many problems are waiting for you after your children grow up.

Some parents want to buy some expensive toys to satisfy their children,and to fill their lives . what they ignored is that Children need fewer toys but more time to stay with their parents.
Parents should not have the mind that children can be occupied by the expensive toys which they consider no effection to them no matter have or not. It is hard to say how important the family love is to a child. However, many parents are lack of time to stay with their children because of many reasons such as busy working,busy houseworking ,and playing outside . (irresponsibility or even dislike children.这点应该不能成为没时间的原因吧) But these can' be the excuses that they can spare less time to stay with their children. As parents, you should dovote all your life to your child's grow , you have the responsibility to educate them rather than just give them very expensive toys. Although someone may say that toys can also educate children, that is far from the standard that a child should be educated.
Toys may have sorts of functions of enhancing children’s intelligence ,but the toys cannot be substitute for their parents. For example, communications between children and parents when they are playing the toys give the very different results from children just play the toys alone.
On one hand, too expensive toys would be not good for children’s future. Child may show his or her expensive toys to his or her friends. Then his friends will make a friend with him because of his expensive toy rather than the real friendship. On the other hand, children may naturally rely on the expensive toys to make a new friend. So children may copy the way to make friends when he grows up, particularly an excellent car or a modern game machine.(我前者是一个大人可能拥有的用来炫耀的,但是成年人应该不会用游戏机来炫耀自己 把）
Parents want to use expensive toys to occupy their children initially so that parents can be free from staying with their children. However, the reality could be very different from the parents’ thinking. Firstly, very expensive toys can make the children focus on playing them for a short time , but children will be fed up with them and require new toys later . It will conversely increase the burden of their parents who have no good income. Secondly, children now get most expensive toys from you, but you can make sure they won't ask you for some luxries ,let's say expensive cars ,horses ,house and even ships .(你的原文：which you cannot promise that they will not ask you to buy most expensive cars, horses, houses and ships for them. )
Parts of some parents are very rich, so they may not care for the financial problem which would happen in the future. But a child who has less time to play with toys rather than play with parents might give them a deep impression . Some of children would have some mental disease such as infantile autism which would have effects on their wellbeing in the future.
To conclude , children cannot be occupied by the toys only. Their parents should spend enough time to stay with them and educate them. Too expensive toys may bring some temporary benefits to your children, but toys cannot substitute your position in his or her heart. Otherwise, many problems are waiting for you when your children are grown up.
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